You know that couple who just got engaged and incessantly talk about nothing but wedding plans?
And your best girlfriend who just found out she's pregnant and has started talking about nothing but babies?
Well guess what students who are applying to graduate programs talk about?
That's right....grad applications....that, and working at McDonald's should they not get accepted....at least...thats what my plans are.
Grad apps have consumed me. Its all I think about day and night and night and day....which have now just blended together because I never sleep anyway....sleep is for the weak. You think lions and tigers sleep?
You know who else doesn't sleep? The girl down the street who is applying to the SAME program you are. Sleep isn't holding her down and it shouldn't hold you down either!
I now find myself giving up on sleep and just call them naps. Sleeping from 6am to 8:30am when you have to wake up for class isn't sleep. Its a nap.
You know what else I can't do anymore? Make decisions.
My typical evening will go like this:
Sit down to fill out my prerequisite sheet for UfT
Realize I can put down 1 of 2 courses
Wonder which would look better
Look at my transcript to see which I did better in
Pick a course and write it down
Scratch it out and write another
Wonder what the person who will read it will think of me for taking that course
Wonder if I should have even taken that course
Wonder if I should have made it to post-secondary at all
Wonder if I am using the right colour pen
Wonder if I am writing neat enough
Wonder if the person reading will laugh at my writing
Wonder if I should hire a calligrapher to fill out my sheet
Wonder if it is to be or not to be
Stare at the paper in morbid fear for 10 minutes
Stare at the part that says name wondering whose name that is
Have an identity crisis
Rip the paper up and watch an episode of Modern Family
I also can no longer hold a conversation with someone without going to a very anxious place.
Friend: Want to go out for sushi tomorrow night?
Me: Sure...what time should I get my personal submission into you by? *twitchy face*
Friend: *backs away slowly*
As you probably guessed, this post has nothing to do with baking. It's just an insight in to the brilliant mind of me...and my fellow peers who are in the same position I am.
Just remember this; if you lose sight of why you're doing it...you need to take a break....go eat a cupcake...then come back to your desk or wherever you work...BREATHE...and keep going
Keep Calm and Carry On!